You might be an engineer if...

• You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.

• You rearrange the dishwasher to maximize the packing factor.

• You tell your spouse "I can fix that", even if you can't.

• Your child takes things apart because that's what Daddy does.

• You reprimand your child because she destroyed your LEGO creation.

• You canot spel, you mite be an Enginer.

• You spell engineer, INJUNEAR.

• You have a college degree but get confused when trying to use a screwdriver.

• You have the centerfold from "Design News" magazine hanging in your office.

• You go to the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.

• You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.

• Your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.

• You casually mention what you do for a living and people's eyes glaze over.

• You mention you are an engineer and people want to know what it is like driving that big old train.

• You mention your career and the first thing people want to know is if you can set the clock on their VCR... and you CAN!

• The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.

• You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.

• You can type 70 words a minute and you are NOT a department assistant.

• You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel and you have seen most of the shows already.

• You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.

• In college you thought spring break was a metal fatigue failure.

• Your father gives you a present and steals the directions, just to see how long it takes before you have it taken apart, to see how it works.

• Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a huge magnifying lens to see how they made the colors. And you grew up thinking that was normal.

• Your girlfriend refuses to go to Hawaii with you unless you buy some white tennis shoes to replace the black ones, that don't match your white socks.

• Your software adds up to more than the cost of your car.

• You think specs are not eyeglasses.

• You look into a computer store and the salesman is intimidated.

• You have not bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since your wife married you.

• You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.

• Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium.

• You have never lost a science question in trivial pursuit.

• You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screwdriver to use.

• Your internet bill is larger than your long distance charges.

• Your favorite magazine is Popular Science.

• You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.

• You are in Scuba class and help the instructor calculate the pressure changes at depth.

• People groan at the party when you pick out the music.

• You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.

• People hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time.

• You did the sound system for your senior prom.

• Your physics teacher is talking about loop the loop roller coasters and gives you extra credit because you have one on your T-shirt.

• You know where every Radio Shack is, and they gave you a frequent buyer's card.

• You ever forgot to get a haircut...for 6 months.

• Your checkbook always balances.

• You go to Radio Shack and salesman asks you the questions.

• Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.

• Your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone.

• Your favorite James Bond character is "Q", the guy who makes the gadgets.

• You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.

• You rooted for HAL, the computer in 2001, a Space Odyssey.

• Your wife has to hide the tool box every time you buy a new appliance so you won't take it apart to see how it works.

• You end up answering more customer questions at Radio Shack than the salesmen.

• You have the internet on speed dial.

• Your only dress shirt has short sleeves.

• Your dress clothes come from Sears or Walmart.

• You think your computer looks better without the cover.

• You think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get enough sleep.

• You believe anything worth doing is worth doing right... on a computer.

• You are afraid to go to the bathroom at work in case you might miss the next two generations of computer technology.

• You bought your wife a new CD-Rom for her anniversary.

• You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.

• Your favorite comic strip is Dilbert.

• You have Dilbert cartoons or screen savers.

• You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the corkscrews than the '84 Chardonnay.

• You know all the last names of every Star Trek character.

• You have glowing pickles at your parties and understand how it's done.

• You rip on movies with lasers in them for not being technically correct in such items as power and beam divergence.

• You like the window seat in an airplane not for the view of the ground but for the view of the flaps in operation and the air stream over the window.

• You go to the store to buy groceries, and end up buying software.

• You measure the ID and OD of the doughnut before picking it up.

• You go to a pickup joint and ask someone for their email address instead of phone number.

• You say good night to your computer before going to bed.

• You sit down in the middle of the party with your camera and the manual to figure out how to operate it.

• You hear "UPS" and don't think of brown shirts and trucks.